Always and Forever
by Dark-Dreymer
Summary: Ennis gets a postcard telling him to meet someone at Brokeback Mountain. Against his better judgment he goes, but finds more than he would've thought possible. Post-Movie Jack/Ennis. AU!AU
1. Prologue

**TITLE: Always and Forever**  
**GENRE:** au!au  
**RATING:** NC-17, strong language, explicit sexual scenes  
**DISCLAIMER:** The characters are the intellectual property of Annie Proulx. I am only borrowing them and am making no profit from this fic.  
**FEEDBACK:** Is very much appreciated. I'm new to this fandom, though not to fanfic so please be honest. I can take constructive criticism if it'll help me get better next time.  
**SUMMARY:** Ennis gets a postcard telling him to meet someone at Brokeback Mountain. Against his better judgment he goes, but finds more than he would've thought possible.

Prologue

Ennis wasn't sure how to feel; angry, hopeful maybe even a little scared. But despite the mixture of emotions flooding his body he still found himself packing up his belongings and making his way to Brokeback; the postcard with handwriting so familiar resting on the truck's dashboard; firming his resolve every time he thought of turning back.

The night was clear but not too cold, exactly as it had been those many years ago. There was an unfamiliar car parked but Ennis ignored it. Where did he go now, the postcard had no indication as to where on the mountain he was supposed to meet this... person. The glow of a far-off fire seemed the best bet so that was where Ennis headed, forcing any hope or cynicism deep into his gut where it wouldn't bother him.

The journey got steep, by the time he emerged onto the cliff face Ennis had resorted to using his hands to aid his climb; but as he emerged into the clear night air he found himself facing a silhouetted figure; a ghost of a man lit by the vagueness of the dying embers. Even so Ennis recognized him, would've done anywhere.

"Jack Twist." The words burst forth, a mixture of joy, regret, unspoken love and a prayer of thankfulness to a god Ennis wasn't sure he believed in, but to whom he was grateful nonetheless. Charging forth out of the bushes Ennis wrapped his arms tight round his lover, eyes brimming with tears as memories of sorrowful words from drunken nights when he thought this man was gone forever flooded his mind.

"Ennis." Jack's voice was serious underneath the affection that matched his lover's, and immediately the embrace was broken.

"H-How?" Ennis's voice cracked slightly as he rubbed a calloused thumb across Jack's cheek, underneath those shining blue eyes exactly as they had been on the last day.

"That's what I needed to tell you." Jack stated, raising one hand to peel Ennis's hand away from his face; fingers tracing the pulse on Ennis's wrist as he did so, "I can't explain a lot of it, because I don't really get it myself..." As Jack spoke he started to step backwards, "...Just trust me, and know that I love you."

"You..?" But before Ennis could say any more he noticed that Jack was perched right on the edge of the cliff, the back of his boots on the very precipice, "Jack be careful or you'll..." Jack spread his arms, face calm and eyes shut, and fell backwards.

Ennis would've shouted if shouting would've helped, instead he dove forwards; fingers grasping air as Jack fell out of reach and plummeted down. Years ago they'd jumped from this cliff into the water below, it'd been like flying. Jack's fall couldn't be described as flying, it was a short plummet that was cut short as he hit the water headfirst and fell under the shining silver surface.

Without even thinking it through Ennis threw his hat and boots aside and dove after Jack. Finding him amidst the foaming, churning mass proved a challenge; and Ennis felt his lungs close to bursting point before he found a heavy figure drifting slightly below him and propelled them both to the surface. It was with a great deal of spluttering that Ennis dragged the heavy and motionless body of Jack Twist to the shore, slumping into the silt on the water's edge and hurriedly pressing a hand to Jack's neck.

"Damnit Jack." Blind panic set in when he found no trace of a pulse, trying to remember the more precise details of CPR Ennis pushed the sodden material of Jack's shirt away from his neck so it wouldn't be an obstruction and pinched his lover's nose hard, taking a breath as he prepared to breathe life back into his lifeless form.

Mouth two inches away from Jack's, Ennis recoiled as a miracle happened. Jack's dead body convulsed and a mouthful of water was spat into the ground beside them. Jack winced slightly, fingers clenching before he sat up.

"You fucker." Ennis yelled, though in fearful sadness rather than anger, pulling Jack's soaked form close and holding him tight; hard kisses pressed to every inch Ennis could find.

"'m-sorry." Jack mumbled, sounding slightly sleepy; "The stars are bright tonight."

"Why did you do that?" Ennis pushed Jack to arms length as he asked it, there some anger in his tone this time, "I almost lost you again. Why did you..?" Then Ennis returned to cutting off any circulation in Jack's body by holding him as tightly as possible.

"I needed to show you." Jack said, before yawning deeply and slumping in Ennis's arms slightly, "The stars are bright tonight." He mumbled again before falling asleep.


	2. Chapter 1

**TITLE: Always and Forever**  
**GENRE:** au!au  
**RATING:** NC-17, strong language, explicit sexual scenes  
**DISCLAIMER:** The characters are the intellectual property of Annie Proulx. I am only borrowing them and am making no profit from this fic.  
**FEEDBACK:** Is very much appreciated. I'm new to this fandom, though not to fanfic so please be honest. I can take constructive criticism if it'll help me get better next time.**  
****SUMMARY:** Ennis gets a postcard telling him to meet someone at Brokeback Mountain. Against his better judgment he goes, but finds more than he would've thought possible.

Chapter 1

At first Ennis was anxious, he knew from a lot of overacted movies that letting a person who is at risk of dying go to sleep isn't advised, but trying to wake Jack resulted only in the sleeping man grumbling unintelligibly and shifting slightly. After checking Jack's pulse at a number of points on the man's body Ennis realized that he was at no immediate risk of losing Jack again.

Worry settled for now Ennis felt the tears that had been on the edge of his consciousness for the past few minutes burst forth as he held Jack close; they weren't like the bitter and pained sobs he'd been experiencing as of late, it was hard to put a word to the jumble of emotions that constructed the simple act of crying, but in it's simplest form it was relief at being given a second chance.

It was a long time before the chill of the night on his wet skin finally forced Ennis to move from that spot on the edge of the water.

* * *

Jack looked angelic as he slept, Ennis knew that was mostly the fact that he hadn't seen his lover in so long, and had thought he never would again; that he could've been a living corpse, skeletal and pale but would still be beautiful in Ennis's eyes, but the simple fact was that watching the rise and fall of the man's chest made Ennis's heart fill with affection it'd never felt for any other human being. The sun would be rising soon, and the growling of his stomach reminded Ennis that staying up the entire night to watch a slumbering man required energy and it had been far too long since he'd had anything to eat.

"Stay safe for me." Ennis whispered against the shell of his lover's ear, lips caressing it gently before he shifted out of the tent and set about lighting a fire. Maybe if he had some time he could go get his hat and boots from the top of the cliff.

* * *

Jack woke to the glow of a sunrise through translucent fabric, the smell of a real fire and mountain air; with a crick in his back that comes only from sleeping on the hard ground. To Jack it was like waking up in his own bed on the first day after a long vacation, at once familiar and unfamiliar but an experience he most definitely wouldn't give up.

Pulling the thin sheets closer to him Jack realized something was slightly off, sitting up and running a hand through his unkempt hair the man mused on what was different. The first thing that struck Jack was the lack of an air mattress, both he and Ennis had been overjoyed at the invention and the thought of Ennis forgetting it seemed odd. Secondly the thin sheets were not suited to camping atop the mountain, and while they were both getting older Jack doubted Ennis would've forgotten that fact since last April. Both these facts were explained away with one simple explanation; Ennis hadn't been expecting to actually find Jack; it was quite easy for Jack to see the dilemma his lover must have been in when the postcard arrived; as far as Ennis had known Jack was dead and then a message arrives for him out of nowhere. It was no wonder the air mattress and thick sheets had been left behind, Ennis was always one for not getting his hopes up, it was a miracle the tent had been brought at all.

Thinking about this made Jack feel guiltier than ever, especially when he thought of how much more he had to explain. Would Ennis be mad when he knew the truth, hell would he even be able to look at Jack? Worry marinating in his gut Jack kicked the sheets away and pulled his jeans out of the bundle of nearby clothes, slipping them on before grabbing his shirt and wrapping it around him as he stepped out into the early morning air.

Ennis was sat by the fire that was giving off the pleasant burning smell Jack had noticed earlier, hearing a noise he turned to face Jack. The look on his face was one Jack knew well, it showed that Ennis was still not sure if Jack was truly alive or not; Jack had seen it everyday for weeks when he looked in the mirror.

"Yer awake." Ennis turned aside, poking the fire to occupy himself.

"Yeah." Jack mumbled, the best his mind could come up with. Fastening the last few buttons on his shirt Jack took the seat across from Ennis.

"Toast?" Ennis passed a piece of slightly blackened toast on the end of a stick across to Jack.

"'least it ain't beans." Jack stated with a wry grin, biting into a slightly less burnt corner and feeling pleased when Ennis responded with a smirk of his own. They'd have to discuss it eventually, but for the time being at least it seemed like they'd be able to enjoy their old routines.

* * *

The sun had fully risen and the sky was the perfect shade of blue both men remembered so well before Ennis finally turned to Jack with a look in his eyes that was seeking answers. For a moment Jack worried over which question Ennis would ask first; where he'd been since his 'death' or what last night had been about, but since both answers were interrelated he quickly decided it didn't matter.

"Last night, before you went t'sleep you said summin." Ennis spoke slowly, weighing each word in his mouth before verbalizing it, "That ya had ta show me summin..." He trailed off, the question clear.

"It's sorta a long story. I should start at the beginning." Jack squirmed under Ennis's gaze slightly, "I needed to show yer before I spoke 'bout it, or you'd thought I was crazy." Chancing a glance at his lover Jack took in the look on confusion on Ennis's face before facing the smoldering embers of the fire and starting to tell his story: "They attacked me, it's mostly a blur but I get what they were trying to tell me. Folks like me weren't welcome round there..." Jack paused to rid the aggression from his tone before continuing, "I knew I was gonna die, there was no way I couldn't have, it hurt more than anything I ever went through..." Ennis found the grip on his jeans tightening just listening to the pain in Jack's voice, "...I started thinking about what Ma said 'bout guys like me marching off to Hell, 'bout Lureen and Bobby, but mostly I was just sorry that I'd never see you again." There was the hint of a flush on Jack's cheeks and his gaze remained steadfast on the fire, "Then I died." It was a simple statement, like Jack was talking about going for a walk and not the irreversible finality of meeting one's maker.

"But...?" Before Ennis could even begin to question it Jack spoke again.

"I don't know how it happened, but one minute I was stone cold dead then I was alive again. Alone and exhausted, but physically okay and completely alive. All I knew was that there was something wrong, I should've been dead but I was alive..." Jack broke off, "I felt like a ghost, a demon. Something wrong." Ennis didn't miss the little shiver that ran through the other man as he spoke of it, "So I ran away, didn't know where to go 'cept away from ev'rythin I knew."

"Why didn't you come to me?" Jack had anticipated the question, but not the hurt in Ennis's voice as he asked it.

"I don't know." Jack shook his head sadly, "I wish I'd done; but my head was a mess... sorry for not thinking."

"That's okay." Ennis shifted his gaze, he coughed slightly to hide the pain that had been coating his tone, but Jack had heard it nonetheless.

"I died a few more times, got into fights an' the like. Then a short while back I met this ol' dear. She found me face down in some parking lot and offered me a ride to the next town. Tough old bird, she said she reminded me of someone she used ta know. I didn't think much of it, but then she asked if I'd ever been up Brokeback." Ennis's eyes widened, like a child who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar; his jaw slackening so rapidly there was an almost audible crack when it reached the bottom of it's descent, "I were the same when she asked." Jack said vaguely gesturing at Ennis's expression, "Turns out she went camping there on some school trip or another when she were younger. There were some guy she met up with who was from another school and they fell for each other. She used a lot of words I didn't understand, but then she told me after that trip neither of them could die." Jack paused to let the words sink in.

* * *

"That's crazy." Ennis snapped bluntly. Jack nodded, then reached forward and grabbed a handful of the embers still burning amongst the ashes of the fire, "Jack!" Ennis snapped a hand forwards and pulled his lover's hand away from the danger, but even as he watched the heated embers burning Jack's skin, the charred flesh healed and there was no sign of any damage.

"I've been stabbed, shot, kicked-in a few times. I electrocuted myself once..." Jack stated, eyes fixed to Ennis's, "...and every single time, I don't die." Then he sat back and let the statement sink in.

"This is insane." Ennis had stood up and was wearing a groove in the mountain as he paced back and forth in front of Jack.

"Yes, but it's happening." Jack responded simply.

"This is insane." Ennis muttered again, "What did that old woman say, how much do you remember?"

"Not a whole lot." Jack screwed up his face and tried to recollect, "Some stuff about barometric pressure and thinness o' the air; something about a storm. A lot 'bout soul mates... Her feller he freaked out like I did and started trying to kill himself, but she talked him round. They were together ten years and in that time they didn't age a day."

"Then what?" Ennis asked.

"...She caught him cheating on her, she walked out on him and never saw him again. A week or so later she cut her hand on a kitchen knife and the wound didn't heal, she started aging again and that was it."

"...It just went away?"

"I remember before I died that first time I was thinking about you." Jack said slowly, "I think because I loved you, and you loved me back, I was able to heal up the injuries. She loved him too, but when he cheated on her the love went away; an' the healing with it."

Ennis stayed silent for a moment before turning away again, "This is insane!"

"Yes it's insane!" Jack agreed standing up, frustration in his voice, "But it can be a good thing. Do you wish I really was dead?"

"No." Ennis twisted round quickly, eyes full of horror at the mere thought, "No, I... God no." Ennis stepped over and pulled Jack close to him, foreheads pressing together in a rare tender moment.

"Do you trust me Ennis?" Jack asked, biting his lip as he thought about what he was going to have to do.

"...Yeah, why?" Ennis replied after a moment.

"Sorry." Jack apologized in advance, slipping the knife from Ennis's pouch and cutting a deep gash into his lover's palm. Ennis hissed in pain, eyes shut tight; but before he could even comment the wound was closing itself and when it was gone there wasn't even any blood.

"This is insane." Ennis repeated his mantra almost too quietly for Jack to hear, "This isn't natural. We're freaks."

"No we're not." Jack snapped sharply, "If you say we're freaks because of this, how are you any different from the guys who killed me because we have sex?"

Ennis flinched slightly at the tone Jack was using, despite himself he found himself arguing, "This is wrong. We're not human. You should be dead Jack."

"Do you want me to be?" Jack asked, yanking his hand out of Ennis's grip; eyes hard.

"You know I don't, but..."

"But nothing." Jack placed a hand across his lover's mouth, "We've got a second chance, no matter how bizarre the circumstances. I'm not screwing this up."

Ennis mumbled against Jack's palm, repeating himself when Jack removed the appendage, "Me neither."

* * *

"So what do we do now?" It was a long time before the question arose, but when it finally did both men realized that neither had an answer.

"I can't go back to Lureen, they all think I'm dead... 'sides they'd probably chase me out or kill me 'gain." Jack sounded a little bitter, but Ennis squeezed his shoulder tight and the tension eased out.

"What about yer parents?" Ennis suggested.

Jack snorted, "They'd both freak out, mom always cared more about her god than her son." There was silence a moment and then Jack spoke again, "S'pose we could always buy a ranch, settle down now that we don't have ta worry 'bout summin happenin' to us."

"Don't think that'd work." Ennis replied.

"Why not?" Jack seemed slightly indignant that Ennis was once again pulling the rug out from under his fantasy.

"For one folks'd want to kill us just for bein' together. If they found out we're..." Ennis didn't know what word to use so settled for a rolling hand gesture, "...they'd burn us as demons or witches or summin. For two we don't have enough money to buy a ranch."

"We can get some." Jack argued, skipping over the first point.

"How? Take some insurance out on you then shoot ya dead in front of them."

Despite himself Jack found himself smirking at the joke. "We could work to get some money. It wouldn't take too long."

"Even if we got a ranch, I don't wanna work anymore." Ennis sighed slightly, sounding tired in every way imaginable, "...I've got a trailer. It's not too big, but you could stay there with me."

Jack thought about it for all of two seconds, "Perfect." A huge grin from both of them and one hasty kiss later made it official.

* * *

One final note: It was recommended I get a beta for this fic. I've proof-read this chapter very thoroughly, but is there anyone willing to beta future chapters for me? Any help would be much appreciated.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

* * *

Ennis woke with a elbow in his stomach and an unpleasant ache in his back; he and Jack were both lying in his bed and it was simply too small for both of them. It would've been a lot more sensible for one of them to sleep in a chair, but part of Ennis was still scared that if he went to sleep without the physical comfort of Jack, solid and real, against him he would wake up to nothing more than a tear stained shirt and a freshly broken heart.

Easing himself out of the hold his lover had on him, Ennis reached around inside the pockets of one of the pairs of jeans left on the floor until he found a carton of cigarettes. Extracting one, Ennis pressed a kiss to Jack's cheek and pulled the disheveled covers across him fully before heading to the trailer's steps.

The warm morning air ghosted pleasantly across Ennis's bare skin, making tendrils of smoke rise up from the smoldering end of the cigarette hanging out the corner of his mouth and into the fiery sky as the sun peered over the edge of the horizon. It was a beautiful day, just like the day before it and the one before that; each day since his reunion with Jack had been a meteorological personification of his mood, but now reality had forced it's way back into Ennis's life and as reluctant as he was to leave the perfection of the last few days there was no other choice.

Dropping the cigarette stub, Ennis headed inside and set the kettle to boil. The appliance was old so he'd have plenty of time to dress before the water would be heated enough to make a mug of coffee. As steam finally burst out of the spout in a creaky whistle, Ennis was aware of movement from the bed. He took another mug from the cabinet and spooned instant coffee into each.

Jack was bleary eyed as he sat up, accepting the silently offered coffee with an equally silent thank you. He sipped the scalding liquid gratefully, the slightest of smiles pulling at his lips as the pleasant aroma filled his senses.

"Got to go to town fer a few hours." Ennis declared, sinking into a chair with his own beverage held firmly in both hands.

"Looking for a job?" Jack phrased the question lightly, but the guilt he felt showed in his tone.

"Not t'day." Ennis shook his head. _Not likely any other day either,_he finished in his mind. He'd been honest with Jack when he said he didn't want to work anymore. He'd been living his life in a numb state of shock and vague hope, and now that Jack was in his life once more he knew more than ever that he was sick of ranch life. So when the phone call had come the day before saying that if he didn't show up the next day he wouldn't have to show up ever again, he'd simply shrugged, hung up and returned to Jack in his cramped bed.

"Why are you going then?" Jack questioned.

"Junior's gettin' married soon, gotta buy a suit for it." Ennis explained.

"Married!" Jack exclaimed in mock horror, "When did we get old, Ennis?" The question was almost a whine, but from the twinkle in his lover's eyes alone Ennis knew he was teasing.

"Well I don't know 'bout you, but I sure ain't old yet."

"Funny." Jack said sarcastically, "But I suppose we have a lot of time ahead of us." Ennis watched his lover's eyes mist over, lost in the undetermined number of years they could spend together. He started to wonder about it too, but it made his head hurt so he stopped. "I s'pose I could go with you." Jack said after a short silence. Ennis responded with a confused grunt, having lost track of the conversation. Jack picked self-consciously at the shirt Ennis had given him to wear the day before, which was slightly loose on his smaller frame. "I could do with some clothes of my own. Stead o' wearin' yours all the time."

"I guess." Ennis drained the last of his coffee, standing up to put away the mug. So it was decided. Jack was slightly surprised, but very pleased, that Ennis had agreed to be seen in public with him without an argument, even if it was only to shop for some clothes. Any small step forward was good.

* * *

Their combined budget consisted of the money Jack had got for selling the slightly banged-up car he'd purchased to make his way to Brokeback and the money Ennis had yet to spend since the last time he'd been paid. It didn't take an accountant to figure out that a tailored suit was somewhat out of their price range, but even if they'd had enough cash to buy one, Jack strongly doubted Ennis would be willing to pay so much for something he'd only be using once — or maybe twice if Jenny met the right man. So following this trail of logic they found themselves examining racks of garments, most of which were second hand, and occasionally extracting a pair of slacks or a smart jacket and examining it**. **

"How 'bout this?" Ennis asked, holding a navy blue jacket with patched elbows to his chest.

"It makes you look like a teacher," Jack said, frowning slightly. Although he was irritated, Ennis couldn't help but smile slightly. It was probably a good thing Jack had come along or he'd have grabbed the first thing he laid eyes on and declared it good enough.

"Here." From the other side of the rail Jack extracted a jacket and slacks that looked like they actually belonged to the same set, "Try 'em on."

The single changing cubicle was located at the very back of the store and was ridiculously small. Ennis managed to bang into the walls a good few times while dressing himself.

"Need some help?" Jack's voice asked through the door, accompanied by a polite knock, Ennis could hear the smirk in the man's voice.

"'m okay." He mumbled through gritted teeth in reply, standing up and unlocking the door. "How's it look?" he asked, standing in the door frame so Jack would have a full view of him. Jack's eyes trailed the length of Ennis's body before looking towards the front of the store. With the reassurance that nobody would see, Jack stepped forward, pushed Ennis back into the cubicle and pressed his mouth against his lover's.

"I take it... ya like it." Ennis muttered between hard, fast kisses.

"It's okay I guess," Jack teased, breath warm against Ennis's neck as the kisses started moving across the man's jaw.

"Shit... Jack." Ennis hissed, "Someone'll see."

"No they won't." Jack said, kicking the door shut.

"Well d'you think I can buy the clothes first, 'fore you go messin' em up ?" Ennis protested, hands darting out to catch Jack's wandering fingers.

"Well maybe if they get stained they'll give you a discount."

"Jack." Ennis's hard tone stopped Jack's laughter and he straightened himself up.

"Sorry." He grinned apologetically. "I'll go grab m'self some jeans or summin. Meet you out front?"

"Sure." Ennis nodded, squeezing Jack's hands gently to show he wasn't mad, before letting go and finding himself alone in the changing cubicle.

* * *

"When is the wedding anyway?" They were back at the trailer before Jack even thought to ask.

There was a short silence, which Jack suspected was because Ennis had needed to actually think about it. "Next weekend," he finally replied. "Junior wants me there on the Friday though, some practice ceremony or summin'; I dunno."

"I s'pose you should go," Jack said thoughtfully, "If you're gonna haveta walk her down the aisle and all."

"I dunno 'bout that," Ennis murmured, trying once again to fold his new slacks without creasing them. "Alma's got her new fella, she might want him t'do it."

"You're her father," Jack said flatly, not sure how to react to the misery in his lover's voice.

"Some father." Ennis snorted miserably.

"You always tried your hardest with your girls, right?" Jack took the slacks from Ennis's loose grip and set about folding them properly. "And she kept in touch with you after the divorce, right?" Ennis remained silent. "So she obviously wants you in her life." Jack would probably have said more, but at that moment he opened the closet door to put the slacks away. Suddenly he found himself at a loss for words.

"...Jack?" He had no idea how much time had passed when Ennis spoke. He traced a finger across the picture pinned to the inside of the door.

"When?" Jack asked, his voice shaky as he met Ennis's eyes expressing the question so simply.

"A little while after I heard you were missing." Ennis mumbled, one hand trailing the fabric of the shirt in a familiar gesture.

"Right." There was an odd tremble in Jack's voice as he placed the slacks and jacket away, before shutting the door to the closet and wrapping his arms around Ennis. Ennis felt tears gathering at the corner of his eyes as he heard Jack whisper 'I'm sorry' over and over again into his shoulder.

* * *

The practice ceremony had been a nightmare. Alma avoided his eye and her parents kept shooting filthy looks in his direction. He'd almost fallen over escorting his daughter down the aisle and Junior had somehow not noticed any of it.

It wasn't just the bad day, or the prospect of doing it all again tomorrow, that was getting to him though. It was stupid, it was irrational and it was most definitely pathetic, but Ennis missed Jack. He kept reminding himself that they'd spent a lot more time than just a weekend away from each other numerous times before, but now he'd had a solid week with his lover after a year's absence — the longest time they'd been away from each other since Jack had first got back in contact with him 16 years ago.

The hotel bed wasn't anything like the one in his trailer. For one thing, he had plenty of room. But that just reminded him that Jack wasn't there to share it with him. The sheets felt scratchy and it was well into the early hours of the morning when Ennis finally fell asleep, only to be woken by a knock at the door just at the crack of dawn. Exhausted, but well aware that he wouldn't get back to sleep with his gut full of nerves and worry, Ennis slumped out of bed, headed over to the door and yanked it open to find a perky Jack Twist grinning like a Cheshire cat and holding out a black tie.

"You forgot this."

"Jack." Ennis whispered the name, as though worried others would overhear. "What're you doing here?"

"Like I said, you forgot this." Jack pushed past Ennis into the room, twirling the tie in his hands. Ennis knew perfectly well Jack hadn't come all the way to bring him a tie, but he was so grateful that Jack was going to be there to support him through the hellish ordeal that he didn't argue**.**

* * *

Jack sat near the back of the chapel during the service. He felt slightly out of place but kept reminding himself he was there for Ennis's sake. When the chords of the wedding march began to resound merrily throughout the chapel, every head turned to watch. Most people were observing Alma Jr. as she made her way down the aisle, her whole face shining with joy, but Jack's eyes were fixed firmly on his lover as Ennis tried to keep a slow pace, his daughter's thin arm wrapped gently around his own bulky appendage. Ennis's eyes were slightly out of focus, but at least he didn't look like he was going to be sick.

After a hymn Jack only knew half the words to, the exchanging of the traditional vows and a number of photographs of the bride's family, Jack was finally able to get Ennis alone.

"See it wasn't that bad," he reassured Ennis as his lover tugged at the knot in his tie, only satisfied once it was loose enough for him to unfasten the top button of his shirt.

"Maybe not, but it's not over yet," Ennis muttered. That much was true; there was a reception planned and as much as he wanted to simply escape Ennis knew he'd have to at least show his face.

"Dad !" Almost before Ennis was even through the door he found himself with an armful of ecstatic Alma Jr. "I'm so glad you came !" Breaking away with a warm smile she caught sight of Jack and some of the happiness drained out of her face. "I know you don't I?" There was a look of confusion on the young woman's face as she struggled to identify him.

"Jack Twist. I'm an old friend of your dad's," Jack supplied after a moment of awkward silence.

"Jack Twist." Junior mumbled the name quietly, then understanding illuminated her eyes. "I remember... but I heard you went missing a while back."

"Yeah." Jack's face became instantly stoic. "I was in a coma, woke up 'bout a month ago. I'm here on a business trip, but then I bumped into your dad in town. After he told me about the wedding, well I kinda invited myself along, you don't mind do ya?"

"No, not at all," Junior stuttered, smiling slightly uncertainly. "Well it was nice to meet you. See you later daddy." After giving Ennis a quick hug, she turned and disappeared into the crowd once more.

"Where did that story come from?" Ennis asked, turning to face Jack.

"I'm a salesman, Ennis. I can out-lie anyone you can think of. 'cept p'raps a lawyer." Jack's mouth twisted into a crooked grin, and Ennis couldn't help but smile back.

* * *

Ennis settled at a table on the very edge of the room with only Jack and a beer for company. He remained an unmoving figure throughout the speeches given by the best man and by Junior's stepfather. Jack kept shooting him worried glances as the speech went on, but Ennis knew that if he were giving the speech about how great it was that his daughter had met Kurt and what a wonderful life they were going to have together it would be a lot shorter. Ennis had met Kurt exactly one time before the wedding and he didn't remember a lot of it except that Kurt seemed like a nice enough kid. Besides, talking wasn't something that came easy to him and even if he'd had a lot of time to prepare a speech he'd have tripped over his words and just make a fool of himself.

After the speeches came the cutting of the cake, then the first dance. By the time everyone was dancing along, Jack decided they'd suffered far too much already.

"Do you wanna stay a while longer?"

"Hell no!" Ennis declared, gulping down the rest of the beer he'd been sipping at for about half an hour and standing up to leave. He felt a little guilty about running out on Junior without saying goodbye, but he'd kept his promise to be there and she'd likely been expecting no less.

The drive back would be long and Jack went to sleep after an hour or so. Ennis didn't really mind because it gave him time to think. His daughter was making a new life for herself, and with Jack's return he hoped to do so as well... but there was a new aspect of his life he didn't understand. Taking one hand off the wheel Ennis watched the rise and fall of Jack's chest as he slept and then bit down hard into his own palm. As he watched the deep gouge repair itself, Ennis decided that before he and Jack could do anything else they'd need to learn the full extent of this _power_ they shared.


	4. Chapter 3

~ Chapter 3 ~

Sparks was a settlement so tiny it barely showed on the map of Nebraska. In fact even on the map of Sparks it wasn't too impressive. The house they'd come to visit was one of a dozen or so identical tiny detached constructions in an equally tiny cul-de-sac.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Ennis asked, looking out the window of the truck and up at the house of the woman they had come to see.

"Ennis, you wanted to come here so don't back out on me now," Jack responded, slamming the passenger side door shut as he got out to further emphasize his point. Ennis could hear the lingering traces of their argument from the day before and sighed to himself as he left the vehicle to follow his lover up the cracked driveway.

The driveway wasn't the only broken thing in sight either; the lawn was dry and yellowed, patches of hard dried earth stood out where some of the turf had simply given up and died. A few shrubs slumped wearily against the porch. Thin tendrils full of buds that would never bloom curled around the flaky paintwork of the railings. The house itself looked in disrepair. The roof was missing tiles and those that remained were weather-damaged; the windows housed a thin layer of grime and even the old truck parked in the garage seemed to be on its knees. The whole place spoke of age and rapidly approaching death. It spooked Ennis, in the same way walking though a cemetery at night would, and he wanted nothing more than to turn round and head back to their trailer. But Jack had already hopped up the creaky steps and rapped loudly on the ancient wood of the front door so they would have to see this through.

"Whatever ya sellin' I ain't buyin'," a loud voice shouted through the door after a few moments of silence.

"We aren't selling anything ma'am, we just want to talk," Jack replied, knocking once more.

"It ain't about Jesus is it?" the voice shouted again.

"No." Jack jumped back as the door was slammed open. The woman in the doorway was short and robust; her silver hair and wrinkles set her age quite high, but there was a fierce look in her eyes and the way she held herself made her seem somehow youthful. Her muscled arms were folded across a bosom hidden in a checkered shirt and her eyebrows seemed set in a straight line.

"What the fuck d'ya want then?" she demanded, but upon getting a good look at Jack realization filled her dark eyes. Then she looked Ennis up and down. He resisted the urge to fidget under her gaze like a naughty schoolboy being told off by his teacher. She made a strange noise from somewhere in the back of her throat that could've been either approval or dismissal and then set her sight back on Jack.

"Never woulda thought ya to be one o' them."

A sick feeling settled in Ennis's gut and he watched the back of his lover's neck flush with embarrassment. There could be no mistaking what the woman meant.

"Well don't just stand there like a couple o' statues, come in."

Standing aside, the woman ushered the two men into a cluttered front room that smelled strongly of dogs and slammed the front door shut behind them.  
"You want a cup o' tea?" Her voice had lowered somewhat but Ennis couldn't help but notice she was still quite loud; either she was slightly deaf or she just didn't comprehend the idea of being quiet. "I'll make ya some tea." Without waiting for a reply she bustled out of the room.

Ennis looked around the room; his eyes picked out the little details but his mind didn't take much notice of them. There was an exhausted couch sagging along one wall and a similar looking armchair that didn't quite match sitting opposite, with a rickety coffee table piled high with paper, books and magazines between the two, leaving little space in between. There was a fireplace on the wall beside the armchair and the mantelpiece above it held ornaments and other knick-knacks but no framed photos as Ennis would've expected. On the other side of the fireplace stood a television that may well have been black and white judging by it's age. Sprawled out on a blanket in front of the television was a shaggy dog that lifted it's head wearily and looked up at Ennis with watery eyes. Uttering a soft whine the dog laid its head back down on its forepaws and let its eyes fall shut once more.**  
**  
Having seen all that the room held, Ennis found his gaze settling on Jack once more and he tried to express his discomfort silently. Jack gave him a pointed look in response and fell back onto the old couch. The soft cushions sucked him downwards and Jack quickly found his legs falling away from him as his back sank further into the soft upholstery. Flailing like a turtle on its back for a few moments, Jack eventually managed to right himself.

"Don't you dare laugh," he muttered, straightening out his jeans. Ennis didn't reply, not trusting himself to, but couldn't quite hide the smirk.

"Sit down, sit down," the old woman ordered as she returned from the kitchen, waving them towards the couch and somehow managing to carry a tray at the same time. Setting the tray atop a stack of magazines on the cluttered coffee table, she handed a cup and saucer to each man and settled into the armchair, which must've been a good deal firmer than its counterpart because she didn't sink out of sight. "Name's Elizabeth Ann," the woman introduced herself, looking at Ennis as she spoke. "'Course most folks just call me Ann."

"It's nice t'meet ya." Ennis held his cup and saucer unsteadily and perched gingerly on the edge of the couch beside his lover. "I'm Ennis Del Mar."

"Well Ennis Del Mar..." Ann groped around in her shirt pocket for a moment, eventually retrieving a packet of cigarettes. "...what brings the two of ya all the way out here?"

"We were..." Ennis ground to a halt and filled the silence by taking a sip of the tea; the scalding liquid was far too bitter and Ennis felt tears of pain gather at the corner of his eyes.

"A while back summin happened to us and we wanted to know if you could explain it fer us," Jack continued, to Ennis' relief.

"'_Summin's_' a little vague, ya mind startin' at the beginnin'?" Ann asked, waving her cigarette in a broad gesture that scattered ash on the carpet.

It was Jack who ended up doing most of the talking, with Ennis only interrupting every once in a while to give his own side of the story. He kept the tale short but Ann had still managed to finish her cigarette and start another before it was over.

"Hmm." She had stayed silent the entire time and now they had finished speaking she allowed that one thoughtful syllable before sinking back into the armchair. Her face was frozen in an expression of befuddlement and Ennis's tea was ice cold before she spoke again. "1963 ya say?"

"That's right," Jack nodded slightly.

"That don't make no sense," Ann muttered as she shook her head and scowled.

"What don't?" Ennis couldn't help but ask.

"I expect Jack's told ya all 'bout me." Ann looked at Ennis, but there wasn't any aggression in her tone; in fact Ennis was half-sure she sounded slightly amused. "'Bout what happened t' me when I were a kid."

"Sorta," Ennis answered uncertainly.

"Same thing you've got going on happened to me when I were about 17. Thing is it started right after Mark and I left the mountain..." The woman trailed off, her face once again uncertain. "S'pose it could be 'cause Mark and I were together. You said you split up when you left, right?"

"Yeah," Jack agreed but he sounded unsure. "But we met up loads once we found each other again."

"Right, right," Ann mumbled, fingers twiddling with another cigarette but not yet lighting it. "I did always figure the storm had summin' t' do with it. You boys ever get caught in a storm? Thunder, lightning, hailstones the size of plums, that sorta thing?"

"I..." Jack paused and thought hard.

"First time we were there," Ennis supplied, "it were 'cause of the storm that we had ta leave early."

"Hey, yeah that's right."

"That really don't make sense," the old woman muttered, pushing herself out of the chair and rearranging the ornaments on the mantelpiece.

"Maybe the power was always there," Jack said thoughtfully after a lengthy silence, "but just didn't start workin' 'til that first time I died."

"It's probably summin like that, yeah," Ann sighed and turned away from the mantelpiece. "What does it matter how it happened, all that matters now is what yer gonna do next."

"Next?" From the look on Jack's face he was as confused as Ennis.

****

Ennis knew it was stupid to be watching the phone. It wasn't like it was going to make it ring any sooner, and considering that the outcome of the call they were both nervously anticipating could end the fragile dream of a life together, which had sort of blossomed into life over the week or so spent together, they should've been doing something more productive and romantic than sitting side by side on the bed waiting for it to ring.

"What'll I say to her?" Jack asked, his hand nervously shifting so it was splayed on top of Ennis's.

"'m not sure," Ennis answered truthfully.

It was all Ann's fault, really. If they hadn't visited her she wouldn't have been able to try and fix things for them and bring them to this moment of complete uncertainty. The problem with following that train of thought was that Ennis knew he was the one who had insisted they find Ann in the first place, and if he had listened to Jack when the other man proved reluctant then life would be carrying on as normal.

Normal was a flexible term however, and Ann had pointed this fact out to them. The life they had been living since their reunion on Brokeback wasn't something that could last; while they were now no longer 'normal' they still had to live in a world that preferred 'normal'. The first problem the elderly woman had pointed out was Jack's state of existence: while he was still alive technically, under the law he was a missing person and it would only take a short while for that to catch up with him. Ennis was begrudged to admit he hadn't considered that, but he was still annoyed when Ann continued her train of thought into the area of the solution to this problem.

In Ennis's opinion, the simplest solution would be to inform the police that Jack was alive and well so they could close the missing person case down. Ann, however, insisted upon providing an alibi to make his disappearance seem more plausible, so an old friend of hers had been roped into providing false information about a coma and severe amnesia. The police had recorded all the information, closed the case down and informed the missing person's family.

Now, sitting in the trailer waiting for the phone to ring, Ennis and Jack were both worried about what Lureen would say.

"I don't wanna go back Ennis."

Ennis was aware of movement beside him and he could tell Jack was trying to catch his eye.

"She's your wife, Jack." Ennis resolutely avoided Jack's attempts to catch his eye. "It won't be so bad, it'll be like before."

"Before?" Jack spat the word out as though it were poisonous. "That were never enough... for either o' us."

"Nothin' we can do 'bout that." Ennis's gaze fell to his lap and the hand holding his own tightened briefly.

"I don't love her no more."

"Don't you lie to me Jack Twist."

"I still love her," Jack admitted with a sigh. "But not like I love you."

There was a moment of silence after the admission, then Ennis turned and kissed his lover, a tangled ball of emotions tumbling into the short but tender connection.

"No matter what, I'll be there fer ya," Ennis promised, hands still lost in the fabric of Jack's shirt, "an' I'll make sure we see each other as often as possible, 'cause I love you too you rodeo fuck-up." Jack's face lit up with joy at the words and he chuckled softly into another kiss, but then the ringing of the phone tore the couple apart.

Nervous blue eyes seemed to plead with Ennis but he just stared fixedly until Jack picked up the receiver and mumbled a shaky hello into the mouthpiece. Ennis fought hard against the tightening in his chest when Jack smiled slightly and whispered 'Yeah, it's me Lureen'. The words 'it'll be just like before' had become a mantra of sorts to Ennis over the past few days and he chanted them in his head throughout the call, hoping to drown out the soft voice on the other end of the line.

"Oh." The single syllable cut through Ennis's mantra abruptly and Jack's face fell instantly. "No... no, I understand." Mumbling a 'goodbye' under his breath Jack set the phone back in place and sank into the chair opposite the bed with his face hidden in his hands.

"What'd she say?" Ennis already had a fairly good idea but he felt the need to ask.

There was a lengthy pause during which Jack took a few deep breaths, and when he finally spoke his voice was level but Ennis could tell it was only with effort. "She said she's glad I'm still alive, but that she don't think I should come back." There was a slight flutter and when the man continued his voice was more cracked than before. "Bobby thinks I'm dead and they've all moved on... it'd mess things up if I went back." As he finished speaking, the stored tears finally started to fall. Ennis pushed up from the mattress and crouched down to wrap his tearful lover in an embrace.

Jack held tight for a few moments before pushing back slightly and thrusting his lips up to join Ennis's. The kiss wasn't like the tender one from a few moments ago. Jack was full of sadness, anger and hunger; he was looking for comfort and to forget his pain and so with that in mind, Ennis allowed himself so be forced backwards and onto the bed.

Jack settled onto his lover, fingers tearing the fabric of the shirt apart in their determination; his lips were lost on the warmth of Ennis's neck and his eyes were squeezed tightly shut to prevent further tears.

"Jack." Ennis's firm voice penetrated the misery and Jack felt fingers tugging his own hands away from the waistband of his lover's jeans.

"God Ennis I want it!" Jack hissed as Ennis flipped them over. "Fuck me!" Red rimmed eyes burnt with passion and aggression as he bucked up under the weight of the man on top of him.

"Whoa. Slow down cowboy." There was a slight quirk to Ennis's smile as deft fingers made quick work of the shirt that clung to Jack's skin slightly in the heat. "It ain't no race."

Jack bucked up again in reply, eyes burning with that slightly scary combination of lust and anger. Ennis knew what this was: Jack wanted the comfort of sex after the blow he'd been dealt by his wife. He needed to show Jack, though, that he could always rely on Ennis to be there for him and ensure he was never hurt; so he took control and made sure to go slow and fully prepare the frustrated man pinned beneath him before he entered him.

"Shiiiit," Jack hissed softly in satisfaction and finally stopped trying to speed things along. It didn't take long for the two of them to start groaning in pleasure. As Jack clenched tight around Ennis and came with a cry of completion, Ennis knew that his lover had got his wish and was no longer thinking of his misery. Ennis finished with a few hard thrusts and collapsed atop the other man, pressing soft kisses to the heated flesh beneath him.

"Love ya," Ennis mumbled quietly after he'd withdrawn from his lover and settled back in the bed. Jack gave a muffled reply and shifted on Ennis's chest slightly, wrapping his arms tight around the other man's frame. Ennis's fingers found their way to Jack's hair and they tangled the thick mass gently as Jack's breathing evened out and he fell asleep. Ennis wasn't entirely sure if he'd been successful in making Jack feel safe and loved, but he vowed to always try his hardest in the future. With that thought clear in his head he fell asleep, ignoring the drops of moisture that landed on his chest and the soft whimpers that accompanied them.


	5. Chapter 4

~ Chapter 4 ~

Ennis woke with the sun shining in his eyes. He squeezed them shut and turned his face away from the brightness, but found he couldn't move very much. Jack's body was more than half on top of him; the dark-haired man was still asleep, his soft but steady breaths ghosting across Ennis's bare skin. With Lureen's decision to treat Jack as if he were still dead, this was going to be the first day of their life together. Ennis thought they really should use it to do something useful, but then again maybe this day should start the way he wanted each one to start and that meant letting his lover sleep as long as he needed.

The peacefulness brought about by Ennis's decision was interrupted ten minutes later by the shrill ringing of the telephone. Ennis had only gotten it at Junior's insistence so that she'd be able to contact him without having to make a lengthy trip to his trailer, but so far it'd been more of a nuisance than useful.

"Wha-?" Jack was pulled from his sleep by the ringing of the unanswered phone. He shifted off of Ennis, blinking up at him wearily.

"I've got it." Running a hand through Jack's unkempt hair affectionately, Ennis half tumbled out of bed and picked up the receiver.

"'Lo."

"Mr. Del Mar?" The voice on the other end of the line was soft and slightly hesitant, as if the woman talking wasn't entirely sure it would be Ennis who answered.

Deciding that if it was anyone attempting to sell him something he'd hang up in an instant, Ennis ran a hand across his tired eyes. "Yeah," he mumbled.

"I phoned Lureen... she gave me this number, said Jack was there..." The voice trailed off uncertainly and Ennis managed to put a face to the voice. Admittedly it was a face he had only seen once, one weathered by age and mourning but with the vaguest hint of desperate hope in the eyes.

"He's here," Ennis said almost numbly, watching Jack watch him.

"Oh thank God," Ennis heard Jack's mother sob; he understood what she was feeling. When he'd received the postcard calling him out to Brokeback he'd been lost in a haze of hope and worry, but when he'd walked out onto the cliff top and seen the man he'd thought he lost alive and well, a part of him that had been on edge for so long had crumbled gently away and he'd been lost to tears of joy. (Even if the moment had been interrupted when he had to pull Jack out of the lake).

After a few moments Mrs. Twist seemed to regain her composure and she cleared her throat. "Could I please talk to him?"

"Uh..." Ennis eyed his lover uncertainly, not sure how to respond. "Sure."

He passed the phone over to Jack, mouthing the words 'It's your mom'.  
Mom?" Jack asked, eyes full of surprise and voice ringing with concern. Ennis busied himself with making coffee for them both; it wasn't his business what Jack and his mother were talking about. Even so, he couldn't help overhearing the occasional 'yeah' or 'sure' that was all Jack seemed to be contributing to the conversation.

By the time Ennis had finished the coffee Jack had hung up and stood looking at nothing in particular out of the window, tapping the receiver against his thigh.

"Coffee," Ennis grunted, holding a steaming mug out for Jack to take, already sipping at his own.

"She wants t' see me," Jack said, answering the question Ennis hadn't asked. "Wants me t'go up ta Lightning Flat today."

"You don't _have _to go." Ennis was still worried about Jack. Lureen's decision had really hurt him and the last thing he needed was to have his parents prodding him for details of what had happened.

"I should." There was a moment of silence before Jack turned to look at Ennis. He opened his mouth as if to speak before seeming to decide not to and merely drinking more of his coffee instead.

"Want me t'go too?" Ennis asked and he saw Jack smile gratefully and nod.

* * *

"What you gonna tell 'em?" The question was weighing heavily on Ennis's mind and as he focused his attention on the road he felt the need to ask it.

"Not sure," Jack answered honestly before falling silent for a few minutes. "The truth wouldn't be a good idea."

"I guess not." Ennis couldn't help but grin slightly.

They rode in silence for a few miles.

"I'll think of something."

"That's it?" Ennis glanced at Jack. "You'll think of something?"

"It's the only plan we've got," Jack shrugged and shifted in his seat, trying to get comfortable.

* * *

Lightning Flat hadn't changed since the last time Ennis had seen it, but then it hadn't changed since the last time Jack had seen it either. The house would probably never change, only fall further into disrepair.

Ennis waited awkwardly beside the truck as Jack made his way towards the house where his mother was waiting.

"Jack..." The woman's voice trembled as she pulled Jack into a hug, her face buried in his shoulder as she cried. "I prayed every night that you'd be safe," she whispered almost inaudibly. Jack felt deeply guilty at her words and hugged her back tentatively. Over her shoulder he caught Ennis's eye. Sensing her son's movement, Mrs. Twist pulled back slightly and spotted Ennis as he stood beside the truck with his hands in his pockets, looking a little lost. "Mr. Del Mar." Letting go of Jack she made her way to Ennis, wiping her eyes as she went. "I can't thank ya enough for taking care of our Jack like you did."

"It was nuthin," Ennis mumbled uneasily. "He's a good friend, weren't no trouble t'help him out."

"Now don't talk like that, you did a real good thing." Ennis felt extremely uncomfortable and part of him wanted to get back in the truck and flee, but there was no way he could leave Jack alone with his parents. "You boys come inside, I got lunch almost ready."

As Mrs. Twist went back into the house Jack lingered on the doorstep.

"I still ain't figured out what to say," he muttered to Ennis.

"Just say summin' and I'll stick to your story," Ennis promised. He would've liked to squeeze Jack's hand reassuringly but that was out of the question given the circumstances.

"You ain't dead then?" It was the first thing Jack's dad said when the two men came through the door, not even a greeting.

"Guess not," Jack muttered, sinking into a chair at the table so he was opposite his father, though he turned his head so as not to look at him. Ennis wasn't sure what to do exactly and settled for sitting down in the chair beside Jack. He decided to stay silent unless provoked.

"So Lureen left ya?"

Ennis watched Jack's hands curl into fists and then relax at his father's words. Ennis had seen Jack in a bad mood many times and he recognized the signs.

"Yeah." Jack kept his voice calm as he spoke.

"Can't say I'm surprised."

"John." Mrs. Twist's voice was a sharp warning, accompanied by the dull thud of the plates she was setting down before them all. There was silence from all three men as she placed a plate loaded with sandwiches before them. For a moment Ennis was worried they'd have to say grace before they could eat but the woman simply settled into the chair beside her husband and picked up her own sandwich.

"So what did happen t'ya, if you don't mind me asking?" John was directing the question to Jack but he gave his wife the slightest of glares at the last part.

Ennis paused in checking the contents of the sandwich. Chicken. Far from his favorite but he couldn't reject the hospitality he'd been shown, and glanced briefly at Jack. He still didn't know what Jack was planning to say.

"Coma," Jack mumbled in the direction of his sandwich after a lengthy pause. "Tire blew while I were fixin' it, knocked me out." Ennis wondered for a moment if Lureen had shared the lie with Jack during their conversation the other day or if they simply shared a mind for lying.

"What are you gonna do now?" Mrs. Twist asked a short while later. At Jack's confused look she gave a tiny, barely audible chuckle. "Well you can't stay with Mr. Del Mar forever can ya?"

Jack caught Ennis's eye for a second, then looked quickly away. How was he supposed to explain that it was exactly what he'd been intending to do? "Guess not."

"You could come back here." The three other adults at the table exchanged surprised glances when John made the suggestion. "Used to always be talking 'bout comin' home and fixin' this place up nice." The man gestured vaguely at the house. "You an' Ennis here." There was a sneer on his face as he looked across at Ennis, who made sure to bite his tongue. "Isn't that what you want?"

Ennis thought about it while he waited for Jack to respond. It wasn't an ideal life by any means but it had to be a whole lot better than staying in his cramped little trailer. He was just starting to think that maybe he could get used to it when Jack pushed his chair away from the table.

"Jack?"

Ignoring his mother he threw the door open and was gone without another word.

"Sorry." Ennis spoke more to Jack's mom than his dad and followed his lover out the door.

Jack hadn't bothered to wait by the truck and by the time Ennis had started it he had to drive a few hundred yards down the road before he caught up with the man.

"Jack?" Stopping the truck he watched his lover inhaling the smoke from a cigarette as if it alone was keeping him alive. Jack didn't respond verbally, just marched over and sank down in the passenger seat. "You okay?"

"He had no right to say that," Jack exclaimed, hands thrown into the air and a stream of gray smoke bursting forth from his mouth. "Those dreams kept me going." With the initial anger having been let out Ennis could see Jack starting to tear up. "If not for them dreams, if not for Brokeback, I'd a gone crazy... He had no right to mock them dreams."

Ennis reached across and cupped Jack's cheek. A few tears trickled onto his hand as he held it there but then Jack calmed down.

Ennis waited until they were halfway back to the trailer before he spoke again.

"I'd stay there if you wanted."

"You would?" Jack sounded surprised.

"I ran away enough times, not gonna again."

"I don't want ta," Jack chuckled when he saw Ennis's confused expression. "I used ta dream of the two o' us fixin' that place up... now, I dunno. Let's see what happens, alright?"

Ennis was silent a moment before he grinned. "Okay Rodeo, you got yerself a deal."

* * *

Mrs. Twist phoned for Jack a few times over the next week or so. Each time she would try to persuade him to return to Lightning Flat so Jack could talk through his problems with his dad and each time Jack politely but firmly told her that wouldn't be happening. After a while she stopped trying, her calls became less frequent and when she did phone it was only to check how Jack was doing.

Ennis went back to what he was used to, working the ranches in the area. Jack had expressed interest in doing the same to begin with before the argument as old as their relationship – how would they be together around other people? – had put an end to that idea. In the end Jack had found a job in a quiet little store on the edge of town; apparently selling groceries was different from selling tractors but he made the best of it. Ennis still had to pay child support for Jenny, and with living expenses on top of that he didn't have much money left over, but Jack's wages were saved. Neither was sure exactly what the money would go towards yet, but they knew once there was enough they'd leave the trailer behind and find somewhere they could be together.

Ennis knew from long nights waiting for the next fishing trip that when you were waiting for something time seemed to slow to a crawl. He'd been expecting life to be back to that but in reality it kept the same pace as before. But perhaps that was mostly because Jack was with him every day now so he wasn't weathering the days on his own.

November rolled round and with it came Thanksgiving. Mrs. Twist phoned for the first time in a good while and sparked the argument.

"You should go," Ennis insisted. "Thanksgivin's a time fer family t' be together."

"I want to spend it with you," Jack argued.

"Your mom can make you a real dinner and you can fix things up with your dad. Why would you pick sitting in this rickety pile o' crap with me over that?"

"I didn't say it makes sense Ennis, I'm just sayin' it's what I want!"

Jack's stubborn refusal to spend Thanksgiving at Lightning Flat held out and not even the guilt he felt when hearing his mom's disappointment made him relent.

It seemed Thanksgiving for Jack and Ennis would involve spending the evening together in the trailer, the only difference to any other day of the year being the frozen turkey dinners that the store where Jack worked sold specifically for people who would be alone over the holiday. But they were saved from that fate by a second phone call a few days before Thanksgiving.

"Is Jack there?" a woman barked loudly; Ennis flinched at the volume. This was most definitely not Jack's mother phoning for one final attempt at making her son attend dinner up at Lightning Flat.

"Hello Ann," Ennis replied calmly, recognizing the voice.

"That you Ennis?"

"Sure is."

"Ah, good. Listen, if you and Jack aren't goin' somewhere else for Thanksgiving I was thinking maybe you could come keep me company. Gets awful lonely up here in the winter." Ennis smiled at her teasing tone.

Jack was immediately in favor of the idea, so much so that Ennis felt the need to argue. "So you'd spend the holiday with someone you barely know and not your own family?"

"I told you, I want ta spend it with you," Jack explained yet again. "But even if my parents would let you spend the day with us, I'd go crazy just seeing the look on my dad's face."

Ennis could recall numerous Thanksgivings when his thoughts had been on Jack, wishing the man he cared for could be there to share the holiday with him, and that was the main reason why he agreed to spend it at Ann's house up in Sparks. Yet he couldn't help but worry that spending the holiday with Jack wouldn't be as perfect as he'd always thought it would be.

As apprehensive as Ennis was about spending Thanksgiving with a woman he'd only met once and knew very little about, the actual day wasn't too bad. Ann was as lively as ever, and without the annoyance of a lot of questions that needed answers Ennis found it easier to loosen up. They shared the details of their new life together when Ann asked how things were going and he didn't feel too awkward when Jack's touches were a little more than friendly because he knew Ann wouldn't judge them. The turkey was drier than the Sahara and the potatoes were so thoroughly mashed that they were almost liquid; the cranberry sauce came from a tin, not like the mother-to-daughter recipe Alma had made every year they could afford it; but it was still the best Thanksgiving dinner Ennis could remember having in a very long time.

Driving home early the next day, Ennis was full of happiness he hadn't felt in a long time. He was halfway back to Riverton before he realized the feeling was the same blissful euphoria he used to get when he got a postcard from Jack arranging another trip up to the mountains.

* * *

Jenny's birthday came and went; from then on Ennis would no longer be expected to pay child support. They celebrated with a round of drinking that ended with them lost in a field behind the trailer for the night, proclaiming to the moon and any stars that would care to listen that there was a hole in Ennis's bucket and he needed the aid of a man named Elijah to fill it. A dirty joke from Jack about the nature of filling holes had led to a tumble in the overgrown grass and the two waking the next morning still in a state of bliss.

With the cost of Jenny's child support no longer a burden to worry about, the money they were saving (still a novelty to Ennis) quickly mounted and the decision of where exactly they were going to move arose. A small ranch they could run together had seemed like heaven to Jack in his youth, but he couldn't remember whether it was before his death or after that he'd stopped longing for it. Now he dreamed of escaping small town life and finding a place in a more urban environment, but Ennis was reluctant. A number of Jack's ideas about moving to a big city were shot down because Ennis refused to leave Wyoming, insisting he had to remain close to Junior, who had just given birth to her first son and made visits when she could, but Jack suspected Ennis was scared about leaving the world he was used to.

In the end Jack managed to persuade Ennis to make the move to Casper, which was only 120 miles from Riverton so visiting Junior wouldn't be a problem. The apartment they found was reasonably sized and the rent was not as bad as it could have been. If they'd chosen a one-bedroom it would've been a lot less but Ennis had insisted they get a two-bedroom place for the sake of appearances. It was while carrying a couch up to the third floor that the first inquiry into their relationship occurred.

"Hi there!" A young blond woman carrying a brown paper bag teeming with produce gave a cheery greeting as she made her way up the stairs and found them trying to fit the couch through the doorway of their new apartment. "You moving in?"

"No, we just carry furniture around as a hobby," Jack quipped, giving the couch a hard shove.

"You're funny," the woman giggled. "I'm Karen."

"Jack Twist."

The couch unstuck from the door frame a moment later and the two men managed to deposit it inside the apartment.

"Ennis." He stretched his back as he said it.

"Are you brothers or something?" Karen asked, looking between them and shifting her hold on the grocery bag.

"No," Jack said, before Ennis could take the easy route and tell her they were.

"Oh..." Karen frowned for the slightest of seconds. "I should've figured since you look nothing alike." She laughed loudly for a second and Ennis gave Jack a quick glare. "So how do you two know each other?"

"We're brothers-in-law," Jack answered.

"Oh, that's nice," Karen smiled warmly, "Where're your wives?"

There was a pause during which Ennis could almost see the wheels in his lover's head turning frantically in search of a plausible answer.

"They died."

Ennis resisted the urge to kill Jack; it would only result in him coming back to life and leave them with even more difficult questions to answer. Jack seemed to have realized just how odd it appeared for two men to be moving in together after their wives had died and he tried to fix the damage.

"It was a car crash. Last Thanksgiving. I should've been driving but I'd had too much to drink so Lureen took the wheel..." He stared off into the middle distance for a moment, as though lost in the past. Ennis's jaw clenched even harder with the urge to smack some sense into Jack.

"I don't remember much o' the crash... woke up a day later in the hospital, told me what'd happened... Now we're both just trying to get our lives back together." He looked over at Ennis with a mournful expression, fitting with all the murderous thoughts Ennis had been sending his way.

"That's so tragic!" Karen wailed, "I'm so sorry." Before either man could react she'd dropped the grocery bag and pulled them both into a hug, her loud sobs muffled as she buried her tearful face in the fabric of their shirts. Jack beamed at Ennis over her head, mouthing 'Salesman' to his lover.

Karen returned after they'd finished moving their new furniture in and handed them a book about coping with the loss of a loved one and a pot of mac and cheese. Ennis didn't even attempt to read the book and wondered if perhaps the mac and cheese was a method recommended in it.

* * *

With the money they had spent furnishing their new place taken into account, the savings they'd worked a year to build up would just about cover food and rent for two months if they didn't eat a whole lot and conserved electricity by not using any at all. Ennis was somewhat disheartened by that but Jack was still buzzing with excitement at the thought of escaping small town life in Riverton and 'living the dream'. His happy attitude kept most of Ennis's gloom at bay.

With their finances heading rapidly towards zero their very first priority was to find work – at least that was what Ennis had thought but Jack explained they'd need to open bank accounts before they could even begin searching for jobs. So they found their way to the nearest bank where a whole collection of pamphlets littering the tables in the waiting area informed them that 'Casper is a regional center of banking and commerce', which perhaps explained why they had barely started giving their details to the woman behind one of the many desks when two masked men rushed into the building.

"Everyone on the floor now!" shouted the one wearing a navy blue balaclava, his pistol aimed high in the air. He shot two holes in the ceiling to scare the small crowd in the bank into following his command.

"Wha-?" Jack watched the scene with a bemused expression before Ennis forced him to the ground.

"You wanna get yerself killed?" Ennis hissed at Jack as he pressed them both to the floor in front of the desk where they'd been sitting. At Ennis's words something seemed to flicker in Jack's eyes and he stared up at the man wearing the balaclava. More specifically, he was looking at the gun in the man's hand.

"Jack, don't do what I think yer gonna do..." Ennis's warning went unheeded; as the man in the balaclava turned his back on them, Jack was on his feet and charging towards him.

"Jack!"

Jack was thrown aside by the man in the balaclava and a gun pointed at him. Terror pulsing through him at the sight of his lover in danger, Ennis pushed himself upright and threw himself at Jack. There was a terrible cracking sound that hurt Ennis's eardrums more than any gunshot in a film ever had and suddenly his chest exploded in pain.

"Ennis?"

Ennis was vaguely aware he was lying on the floor and that Jack was leaning over him. In the distance he could see the man in the balaclava trembling and staring at the smoking pistol in horror.

"Ennis, stay with me!"

"Ja-ck..." Ennis hissed as his chest throbbed painfully. He was aware of a hand pressing down hard on the wound but with a mental clarity he'd never experienced before he knew it was no use. "...Yer an idiot," Ennis mumbled, smiling for a few seconds before he exhaled shakily and died.

Ennis didn't think about death. It wasn't that he wasn't interested in the afterlife, it was just that even if there was one, he was the sort of man who was too busy just earning enough money to stay alive to worry about what happens next. He'd heard the talk of Heaven and Hell from the fire and brimstone crowd who liked to hang around the church condeming those who didn't do as they did, and he understood the basics of a 'God', but he wasn't the sort of man who believed. Once, back when Jack had first come back to him, he'd asked him what death was like. His lover's words and the empty look in his eyes had stayed with Ennis ever since. _"I couldn't describe it... You'd have to feel it to know what I meant."_

Death, it turned out, was black. Ennis wasn't gifted with a strong imagination but he'd really expected more.

His body was still in the bank, he knew that much for certain. He'd felt himself fall away from it down and into the dark sea he was now drifting through, always heading downwards, down towards... what? God? The Devil? Heaven? Hell? Some light at the end of the tunnel? Ennis didn't know, but more time passed and there was no light, no God, just the darkness.

Time didn't seem to touch this place but at some point after he'd entered the dark Ennis was aware of movement; something was heading in his direction but there was still no light so he couldn't see it until it was upon him. Pain. Not pain like the gunshot, that was barely a pinprick in comparison to the sudden agony striking him. It felt as if white hot electricity was flowing in his veins instead of blood while knives of ice sliced into every inch of his flesh, carving him to pieces. He wanted to scream but he was being torn to pieces and he wasn't sure which part of him _could_ scream.

As suddenly as the pain had struck it was gone, leaving Ennis in a state of confusion. He wasn't entirely sure which part of him was still conscious of the darkness. His mind? His soul perhaps?

There was no way of knowing how long Ennis floated in place, his being shattered and broken, before another sensation invaded him. It was almost like an embrace, a warm hug that gathered all the parts of him and melded them back together. There was still no light to see by and the sensation barely seemed to touch Ennis, but as he felt its warmth around him he picked out the scent of cigarette smoke, its strong odor not quite hiding the lingering traces of sex behind it.

The sensation receded slightly and Ennis felt a whine rise in his throat at the loss, but that made him realize he had his throat again. There was no traveling upwards to make up for the time he'd been sinking downwards as Ennis had expected; the sensation nudged him forwards very gently with the barest echo of warm-hearted laughter and suddenly Ennis was sucking air into his lungs, eyes blinking hard against the lights of the bank.

Jack was holding Ennis tightly. It took Ennis a few seconds to notice the other man was crying, his gorgeous blue eyes shining as sobs wracked his whole body, the intensity of their color awed Ennis after his time in the dark.

"You have really blue eyes." Ennis wasn't even sure why he felt the need to say it, but the thought had come to his mind and he needed to express it.

"Ennis!?" The single word burst out of Jack almost violently and he hugged Ennis close. "I thought I'd lost you... thought it weren't gonna work... thought..."

Ennis was surprised that his chest wasn't aching from where he'd been shot. Jack was squeezing it so hard it really should've at least stung a little.

"I'm sorry," Jack whispered as he finally pulled away from Ennis to look him in the face. A single tear slid down Jack's cheek and splashed onto Ennis's own.

"You have really blue eyes," Ennis repeated, smiling to himself sleep start to claim him. As his eyes slid shut he saw Jack smile.

* * *

I decided to post this chapter today because even though in reality there is no way Heath could come back, as Ennis does in this chapter, I feel that as long as a person is remembered, they live on. Here in this fandom I know Heath will continue to be remembered and loved, so in that way he will always be with us.


End file.
